You Don’t Learn This Stuff in a Classroom

Remember a time where during your senior year of college, people had big hopes of graduating and landing that cushy job even if it was entry level?  Remember how companies threw themselves at the top upper echelon (grade wise) on campus? Ah, those were the days.  You barely had to do anything during your four years but go to class and get good grades.  And if you went to an ivy league or high profile school, you had it made in the shade. Not so much today.

I think our younger ladies are a little bit more aware than we were years ago.  The economy and job market are clearly evident.  Recruiting budgets have tightened, companies have collapsed, people have flooded the job market.  Upcoming grads are worried about finding any kind of job when they leave the comfort of college.  OK before you think this is another gloom and doom post, it really isn’t.  I’m here to tell you that you can make it.  You just have to get on the offensive and not wait for things to work themselves out.

I usually tell young people to focus on their studies during their first year without any thought to working if they can. I still stand by that, even as my own child approaches college. But by year two, you better start on your game plan. Hopefully by your sophomore year you have a pretty clear idea of what it is you want to do.  You may even have a part time job to tide you over.  But what you should be working on is internship. Internships (while mostly available for juniors and seniors) are an excellent way for you to get exposure in the industry you’re interested in. Take this time to investigate the types of internships out there, the companies offering them and the criteria for landing them. Talk to people who have interned to get an idea of what it entails.  Whether paid or free, you stand to gain some valuable experience and contacts if you play your cards right.  And remember, internships and volunteer work counts on your resume.  Don’t let anyone tell you any different just because it was an unpaid gig.

By Junior year, you should already have your internship research together and have submitted (and hopefully offered) for internships.  Here’s where you really learn stuff you can’t learn in the classroom. If you haven’t learned how to network yet, get to it.  The contacts you make now can serve you well in the long run.  Classmates, dorm mates, associates at internships all make great contacts. Get to know them and keep detailed notes on your meetings, any commonalities, and favors they’ve done for you.  Remember, it’s about building relationships and relationships are two way streets. Get out and meet the key players in your industry.  Ask for introductions as necessary. This is your time to get to know people and tell them about you.  Hold on, this isn’t meant to be a brag fest.  You are still a newbie to them. And this isn’t time meant for you to pester anyone for a job.  You are on a fact finding mission. Your objective is to learn as much as you can from the best.  You might even get a mentor or two out of it.

While we’re on mentors, get one (or three). This is the best time for you to ask for a mentor relationship.  You are still green and people love to be able to pass their wisdom along to up and coming talent. Don’t let you young ego get in the way. You must remember you don’t know everything (and in some cases, anything).  Show your mentor that you are serious about learning and that you are willing to do the work it takes to be successful.  Don’t waste your mentor’s time.  When you meet with them, have questions ready and research available on issues you still need clarity on.  Make sure you make the meetings worthwhile.  Mentors have busy schedules and a lot to do.  Mentoring you is a small microcosm of their world. There is business to be done and deals to be made. So be respectful of their time.  Do more listening than talking. No further explanation needed. Learn what they like (golf, tennis, etc) and then learn it yourself. Trust me on this. It’ll come in handy.

By senior year, you should have the mentoring, networking and internship thing down.  And hopefully you’ve taken most of the classes you need so your schedule shouldn’t be as tight.  The beginning of senior year should be the time you start researching the job market and getting to know recruiters and hiring managers.  Pay attention to the market and the type of jobs out there.  Reach out to recruiters to get an idea of how they can help you.  Don’t waste their time either.  Remember, they are there to fill jobs with the best candidates, not find you a job.  Ask for tips on getting your resume noticed.  Share with them your professional goals and any past experiences (internships, volunteer work, etc).  Attend open houses and career fairs.  Typically I don’t like job fairs, but you can learn a lot from them and get names of recruiters you can reach out to directly after the events.  Turn to your college career office to seek some advice from counselors.  Use them to get an indication of what’s out there as well.  Have a professional resume done.  No, not a template you snatched off the internet.  Have a professional put together a solid resume that shows your accomplishments.  If you’re in a sorority, tap into that as well.  Your sorors can help you in many ways, especially if it’s a very active sorority.  

Now, I’m going to deviate just a little bit to sound like a “girl”.  You know how they say image is everything? Well it is.  No doubt, for the last few years you’ve been throwing your hair into a ponytail or wearing a hat to cover up and I will venture to guess you haven’t been shopping for professional wear.  Well now is the time.  I know you’re thinking in this economy, how could I possibly preach about shopping and pampering yourself?  Don’t panic. There’s a method to my madness.  Find that fashionista friend and ask for some input.  Of course you can’t afford to get an image consultant as a student (unless you’re loaded).  So this is the next best thing.  Have this friend go to the mall and boutiques with you to try different professional styles.  Ask the sales reps for opinions and see if they offer up any suggestions. Learn what colors, fits and styles work best on you.  Take magazines with you as guides.  Here’s the creative part.  While you’re looking at the prices and clothing at these malls and boutiques, make notes.  Then go to the best consignment shops and get these items (or similar) for dramatically less money. I once picked up a Chanel suit, that looked brand new, for $5.  So don’t laugh!  Pick up key classic pieces that can be mixed and matched.  And by all means, get appropriately fitting underwear, tasteful accessories, 1 or 2 pairs of good shoes and a classy handbag.  Save the patchwork Coach and multi colored LV for weekends.  I’d even throw in a classic briefcase (depending on what field you’re going in).

Use online social networks responsibly. I know you like to be free to post what you feel and what you want on Myspace, Facebook and a host of other sites.  I caution you to think before you post.  If you are going to have a page on social sites, keep them separate from your professional identity. Recruiters and hiring managers do use these sites to source candidates.  And yes, what they find can make or break their decision to reach out to you.  Always keep a sense of dignity and decorum about yourself and never post anything distasteful on your pages.  Linked In is great for a professional profile, as is Viadeo if you want to do some international networking.  Don’t create a resume page, rather, an overview of what you’ve accomplished and your professional objectives. Don’t over do it.  Leave readers wanting to contact you for more details. If you’re going to be blogging, I beg you to please keep it clean and sane.  The last thing you want is recruiters to find you arguing with some moron on the internet over an inconsequential topic. Watch what you say and when in doubt, read three times before hitting send, and even then, ask someone else to read it.  Your online image weighs heavily on your real life image.

Finally, I would say that you should make it a point to join groups in your industry.  Make it a point to attend the various meetings, which are often monthly.  You can make key contacts and learn some valuable intel that can help you with your search.  Get to know the people and don’t be afraid to volunteer.  Remember, you want to get your face and name out there.  Become a part of the conversations by keeping up on your research and sharing what you learn.  This is also a great time to ask for clarity about things you’re unsure of, and you’ll get it straight from people in the know.

So if you’re a student in college, don’t wait until senior year to try to make things happen.  Your career is an ongoing process. You have to cultivate it and do your part to make it come to fruition. Nobody is going to prepare you, so you must prepare yourself. Start your game plan as soon as possible and while I cannot guarantee total success, you’ll be ahead of the curve and ahead of many of your classmates.

Til next time,

Adrienne Graham

 

Are You A Power Broker?

Lately I’ve been obsessed with researching for my next book.  The topic? You guessed it…women power brokers.  I’ve been gathering the information on the women I want to interview for this book and I’ve been watching press and footage of some of them, trying to get an understanding of who they are.  I’ve learned that power comes in many forms and has different meanings for different people.

In a way, I am considered a power broker. Not because of fame or fortune (still working on those HAH!) but because of the connections I make and relationships I develop.  I am the networking guru.  I derive great pleasure from linking people together. I’m great at it and magic happens when I do it. I know a lot of powerful women (and men) and I know how and when to use them for my self and when to connect them with other key people.  That’s what makes me a power broker.

Hillary Clinton is a power broker.  Regardless of what you think about her, regardless of what I think of her personally, you have to give it to her.  She has a grasp of the political scene, a fearlessness that I admire, and a no surrender attitude. I’ll admit, during the primaries, she got on my nerves. At times I resented her because she wouldn’t give it up already even though it was clear she lost. But what made me resentful, also made me respect her fight.  Hillary went after what she wanted even though at times people made it hard for her.  She still fought the good fight. She made such a statement to all the girls and women of the world that we have indeed come very far and that the sky is the limit on your dreams. My proverbial hat is off to Hillary for being that woman who almost successfully went for the highest office in our land. I see her continuing to sharpen her political stronghold and a run at the seat in 2012.

Take someone like Kimora Lee Simmons.  Yes, Kimora.  Now there are some people who don’t take her very serious because she married a mogul and “inherited” her empire.  And there are people out there who discredit her business accomplishments and write her off as a gold digger.  But you know, I’ve been researching Kimora.  Her girls (two young daughters) are at the heart of everything she does. Yes she’s over the top, but I look beyond that and get to her core business and the woman gets things done. She is not a power broker because of her money, fame, ex-husband or extravagant lifestyle. She is a power broker because she manages to keep her obligation to raising her girls in step with growing her business and by going after exactly what she wants.

A power broker doesn’t need to be in the spotlight.  The two diametrically opposed examples I gave above are small examples from the extreme end of the spectrum.  A true power broker in my opinion is a woman of class, leadership, ambition, knowledge, service, energy, vision, creativity, visibility and positive attitude. A woman of power is clear about what she does and what she brings to the table. A power broker doesn’t let a perceived glass ceiling stand in her way nor does she let the small things distract her. She surrounds herself with key advisors but ultimately makes her own decisions and is comfortable with said decisions because they are her own.  She holds just as much pride in her silent power than in the in your face over the top displays of power.  When I think power broker, I think women like Indra Nooyi, Sara Blakely, Anne Mulcahy, Muriel Siebert, Sheila Johnson, Andrea Jung and Anne Fudge.  These women have risen to a level of power that took time to develop and fought all the way there to earn their spots.  Of course there are lots more out there who bring a different perspective to power.  But these are the women who stand out to me.

So how do you become a power broker?  First of all, you need to be true to yourself. Know your goals and don’t let anyone deter you from them. You need to be comfortable with breaking the stereotypes and have a thick skin.  Many people are going to hate you along the way no matter how nice or mean you are. It’s a fact.  But it’s up to you to make sure you don’t fall into the pitfalls. You must not be afraid to dare to buck the system. There’s never a straight line to anywhere. Sometimes you have to take the untraveled (or unpopular) path to get where you need to go. Dare to be different and follow your own heart. Networking and mentors are key.  Even power brokers need mentors, and relationship building is the cornerstone to success.  You know what they say about the company you keep.  Realize you don’t know everything and that in life you are always learning.  Always keep yourself open to new experiences and ask about what you don’t know. Education, self or institutional, can never be out of style. The more you know, the better you can position yourself for success.

Don’t settle, ever. If you want something bad enough and you have enough passion and fight in you, go for it! Reach for the unreachable.  Many doubters will try to talk you out of doing things. Cancel out that background noise and follow your heart.  Remember, the sky is not the limit. Leadership is a key trait of a power broker.  It is not about telling people what to do, rather, leading by example. Learn to listen to your people and find a way to bring out their best.  That’s the sign of a true leader.  And finally, check sabotage.  You shouldn’t be trying to sabotage anyone, and you need to be alert to anyone sabotaging you. Once you see an instance of potential sabotage, check it immediately. Don’t be afraid to get rid of negative people or people who don’t look out for your best interest.

I could go on and on about the role or archetypes of a power broker, but I’ll save it for my book.  I want everyone reading this blog to realize that no matter where they are in their career, no matter their station, everyone has the potential to become a power broker.  When you become a power broker, it’s up to you to use that power responsibly. Having power doesn’t mean you throw money at problems, treat people as inferiors or putting your word or opinion above everyone else.  True power comes from how people perceive you and trust me, it can be taken away at any time.

Tile next time.

Adrienne Graham

 

Moving On, The Right Way

Many times, people are torn between moving on to greener pastures and remaining loyal to their employer or team. For people who have had pleasant working experiences with their job, it’s often hard to think about leaving friends and co-workers behind and there is a sense of disloyalty that runs through their head. For people who have had rotten experiences, they can’t get out fast enough and often don’t think things through; which results in a lot of burned bridges.  In either case, there is an unspoken etiquette to moving on.  Leaving a job takes planning, believe it or not.

Always be looking for your next opportunity. Whether or not you’re happy, you always need to keep a contingency plan in the back of your mind.  As proven this year by the investment banking implosion, you never know when your time is up.  Even if you were heavily recruited like a first round draft pick, you still need to be cautious.  Keep up with the industry and what’s going on in other businesses you may wish to work with at some point of your career. This intel will come in handy when you decide (or it’s decided for you) that it’s time to go.

Always re-evaluate your worth. Each year, you need to step back and evaluate whether your total compensation is on par with industry standards for your particular role in your geographical area. Sites like Salary.com and Payscale.com can give you an idea of salary ranges. Also factor in your performance factor. If you are under performing you cannot realistically expect to get a raise.  Compensation is a huge component of changing jobs.  Make sure your reviews bring earned raises and bonuses for your performance.  When you’re seeking your next opportunity, think in terms of base salary because not all companies have the same bonus structures.  That’s something you can discuss when you get into the interview process.  Be realistic and negotiable, but don’t sell yourself short.

Create a plan. Like I mentioned, you can’t just leave.  That’s asking for disaster and it doesn’t look very favorable for you when employers see you are willing to just leave.  If you’ve hung in there as long as you could, and still can’t take it any more or seek more in your career, start with a plan.  Write down your thoughts and desires for your new career or position. Research on the internet and through reading (magazines, journals, newspapers) to get an idea of what appeals to you and what companies you’d like to work with.  Create a time line for when you wish to make your move.  Schedule time for vacation or personal days off, if possible, so you can freely begin to interview and not infringe on your employer’s time.  Create a list of key people you need to connect with or be introduced to that may be able to help you with your strategy.

Get out there and start your ground strategy. Start scheduling some face time (or at least phone time) with some of your network contacts and new acquaintances and have informational sessions.  These should not be full fledged interviews, rather, a chance to get to know their company and industry.  Attend networking events that are inline with your professional goal.  Get to know the key players and start building relationships with them.  After initial meetings, go back home and research them and open a line of communication with them.  Find commonalities and use those as a foundation for building a relationship. The more prepared you are, the better your search should go.

Don’t wait until you’re leaving to tap your network. This is an act I despise most.  It really irks me when people don’t contact me for months, years, decades and then all of a sudden because they need something, they decide to chit chat.  Don’t do that.  It’s rude and selfish.  You’ve heard me say countless times that your network needs to be cultivated and that means building relationships. While I’m not suggesting you email them every week, get into the habit of regular contact.  This could be quarterly, semi-annually or annually.  People like to help or do business with people they know.  And this is especially true when you’re looking for a job.  Don’t take the risk of appearing rude or selfish.  And as always, make sure you give something back in return.

Translate your skills and experience into new areas. Now, as a recruiter, it is my job to find matches based on what the hiring manager needs.  Sometimes these managers are inflexible and have specific requirements of their applicants.  Some times I can talk them into relaxing their requirements and look at comparable skills, but most times I can’t.  That is true for most recruiters.  So it’s up to you to really sell yourself.  Way before you start job hunting, examine your skills and accomplishments.  Read the different postings on various job boards to get an idea of what people are looking for.  Talk to people in different companies and industries who would be considered your counterparts and ask about typical routines and expected accomplishments. Journal your findings and thoughts on your own skills.  Run through scenarios where your skills could translate.  Once you have this down, when you begin interviewing, you can show your true value to potential employers.  Bridge your talents to the job and find the connection.

What will you look back on and be proud of in your career? Keep track of all of your “hits” and document them. Reference them in your resume, but don’t go into deep detail.  Word it in a way that makes the reader interested in learning more. Then in your interview, you can give them full details. Substantiate you hits with written references from supervisors, team mates and/or clients.

Set up a resume for success. Highlight accomplishments and awards. If you write for or own websites or blogs, list them.  Social media is becoming hugely acceptable by recruiters these days.  They want to get a look into your thought process.  Don’t write your resume as a chronological listing of job descriptions.  Anyone can lift verbiage from job ads or descriptions.  Nobody cares about the generic description of what your supposed to do in a job.  They care about what you actually accomplished and how good you were at your job. If you’ve jumped around quite a bit, as in the case of contractors, prepare a functional resume.  Always try to keep your resume at two pages. Anything beyond that is clutter.  As a rule of thumb, go back ten years in detail, and condense the rest.  Always focus on key accomplishments and significant contributions.

Assemble your cheering section and get it in writing. Now is the time to get the people who support and encourage you best to speak on your behalf.  Ask for letters of reference and ask them to honestly give their assessment of you professionally. Do not confuse this with Linked In recommendations.  Those are good if people go to your profile and read them.  But you should have a career portfolio, and part of that portfolio is a section with written recommendations and acknowledgments.  While you’re asking for references, make sure the people you ask are open to you listing them as references.  Be courteous and let them know each time you use them as a reference so they’ll be prepared for phone calls or email.

Sometimes it takes a lot to decide to leave a job.  The bottom line is you have to remain loyal to yourself and make the decisions that are best for your professional success.  There’s a right and a wrong way to do it.  Make sure you always do it the right way.

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham

 

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers Workshop- Atlanta, GA- 11/15/08

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers- The Modern Girl’s Guide to Fearless Networking

Let’s face it, this economy is on shaky ground.  As witnessed by the collapse of some of Wall Street’s powerhouse companies like Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns, we never know when our cushy job is in jeopardy.  If your company collapsed tomorrow, what would you do? Do you have a contingency plan like starting a business? Do you have a solid network of key decision makers who could help you in landing your next opportunity?  Chances are if you haven’t taken the time to build a strong network, you don’t have many allies who can help you in a pinch.

Go Ahead Talk, to Strangers, based on the book written by Adrienne Graham, gives you the foundations of becoming a fearless networker.  In this session, some of what you will learn includes:

• Branding yourself
• Build, communicate with and tap into your network
• Networking with top executives and key decision makers
• Making a memorable impression on the people you meet
• Positioning yourself as a subject matter expert and an asset
• Being a fearless networker
• Navigating and tapping into traditional and social networking
• Using networking to advance your career or build your business

Don’t miss this dynamic session that prepares you to become a powerful and empowered networker. Your real networking experience begins at this seminar. Adrienne Graham gives attendees a look into her own networking journey, shares her experiences and best advice on building your own network from a position of confidence and strength, and gets the audience involved in interactive networking exercises.

Date: November 15, 2008
Time: 11 AM- 2 PM
Location: TBA
Cost: $69
Register today:

Seating is limited and advanced registration is required.  Refreshments served. Drawings will be conducted for a $25 American Express Gift Check, a copy of the book Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers, and 1 free networking coaching session with Adrienne Graham.

Stay tuned- Since I can’t be in all cities at all times, this workshop will be coming to a webinar near you! Details to follow.

 

The Pity Party is Over, Understand?

OK ladies. The pity party is over. Yes, I am well aware of this fast sinking economy, foreclosure landslide and job eliminations. I hear about it from many people, see it on every news channel, read it in every paper and magazine I encounter. I’m only 39, but haven’t we been here before? I’m pretty sure we have been, and this won’t be the last time. I too have been affected by this crisis and I’m as mad as anyone else. But I’ve decided to rise above it and take care of myself in the process. I know I will be better than OK when this is all over.

I come from a family that values long term dedication to one job, one company. The entrepreneurial bug skipped a generation obviously. I was told that my grandparents were entrepreneurial. They had to be because of the times they lived in. But my parents come from that 25+ years of service retiring with a gold watch line of thinking. But that ain’t me! Employer loyalty flew out the window a long time ago. Companies are giving people the axe left and right. Thankfully this generation is full of free spirits and entrepreneurs who look at this crisis as opportunity and not as disaster. That is who I am. I don’t wait for opportunities to find me. I evaluate the situation and start planning as soon in the game as possible. I don’t let someone’s decisions dictate my future or my fate. That mindset will get me through this crisis. And it will help you too.

There are tons of people flooding the job market through no fault of their own. We have crooked Wall Streeters and Government to thank for that. People who were secure in their cushy jobs with their plush bonuses thought the world was fabulous. But when the rug was pulled out from under them, they found themselves in tough situations they had not prepared for. Now, those who were living check to check or barely getting by were affected too. The only difference is they were used to being without. Naturally there is a huge panic (spurred on by the media no doubt) that the world is going broke and that we’ll all be on the soup line soon. Comfortable people are terrified to death. The budget conscious are cautiously guarded. So where does everyone go from here?

Well first of all, the pity party needs to end now. Stop listening to the news and the pundits. You can survive this. You should be writing down your goals, reviewing your skills and accomplishments, surveying the job market, and reaching out to contacts. There are opportunities out there, believe it or not, but they are not going to find you. You have to go out and find them or better yet create them. Anger, sadness, bitterness are all understandable emotions. You should be all of those. But don’t let them keep you in bed under the covers. You get one week maximum for that. Use those emotions to fuel your next move. Think about your idol or role model. What would they do in this instance? Once you’ve figured that out, take on that mindset yourself. Don’t let this economy fool you into believing that there are no opportunities out there. We live in the internet and information age. You can make money, start a new career and start a business with little or no money. We are a capitalist society. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. You can control your fate and keep from crashing.

Once you’ve taken inventory on what you can and like to do, and what’s available, start going for what you want. Talk to people. Tap into your network and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Listen to what people are telling you but take it with a grain of salt. If anyone wants to speak negativity in the air, cut ties with them. Now is the time for positivity and support. Align yourself with power players. If you dig deep into your network, I’m sure you can find some. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need help from time to time. Don’t let your pride or fear keep you from reaching your goals. If you’re not comfortable starting a full time business, try it as a side gig. Go to the SBA and get a mentor to guide you through start up. Once you’re comfortable going out on your own, don’t ever look back. You can take your skills, experience and contacts, and turn that into a business. But be sure you are up to the challenge of running a business. Not everyone is meant to have a business. It takes a passion and dedication to start and maintain a business. If you don’t have what it takes, don’t try it. But be honest with yourself.

If starting a business isn’t your thing, start planning your next career move. There is no law that says you have to be married to one career for all of your adult life. Start looking at how your skills transfer to another industry or career. Don’t be afraid to seek a career coach to help you put it all in perspective. I would take those career personality tests with a grain of salt. You know what your likes and dislikes are. Trust in that and stay true to your heart. Career Coaches are great allies, but be sure they are guiding you and not telling you what to do with your life. Anyone trying to push you into something doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Again, reach out to your network. Set up meetings with trusted individuals and ask about their industry and company. Research as much as you can. Ask to shadow someone to see if you would even like the new career. Look at the good and the bad. There is a very real chance that you’ll have to start from the bottom up. You must be willing to do what it takes to succeed. You have to take it all into consideration when making your decisions. Whatever you do, stick to your guns. If a new career is what you want, then go get it because it’s yours to have.

It’s easy to crawl up in bed and cry about the state of the world. But you have to decide if you want to be a part of the recovery or a victim. I choose to be part of the recovery. You learn more about yourself when you go through tough times. Money can be made, lost and made again. Don’t think of your life in terms of your paycheck or even title. Think about it as a wonderful adventure, an opportunity to learn what you’re made of. If life was meant to be easy, none of us would ever have to make decisions or think for ourselves. I say bring on the tough times because I’m prepared to beat them. Are you?

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham

 

Networking Don’t Work for You? You’re Probably Doing it Wrong!

What’s the purpose of networking if it doesn’t work for me? That’s what I was asked last week.

I posted a comment in the Answers section of Linked In asking for advice on a cover for my new book Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers- The Modern Girl’s Guide to Fearless Network. A woman commented that she wouldn’t buy a book on networking because she had done it all and tried it all and networking doesn’t work for her.  To each his or her own and I respect her comment. But it made me wonder what was it that she thought she was doing that she considered it to be networking and did she have that same negative attitude that came through very loudly through my computer screen?  I sent her a private note because since I didn’t know her situation I didn’t want to comment publicly. So far, she has not responded.

Now I get the fact that networking doesn’t come naturally to all people.  But come on.  It’s about relationship building.  I keep drumming that point home every time I speak about networking.  There are a lot of people out there who think showing up at a networking event, introducing themselves to a few people and exchanging cards is networking. Or that connecting to a bunch of people on Facebook or Linked In is considered being “well networked”. They think that sending out their resume to everyone they know announcing they need a job or a resume critique (when you haven’t heard from them in ages) is networking.  What amazes me is when they have the nerve to get mad when they get no or minimal response.

Let’s face facts, networking is a contact sport. It only works when you are actively engaged with other people and GIVING BACK.  Your network is not there to serve you when you happen to be in a bind.  It is there for your to grow and cultivate. People like to help or do business with people they know.  Until that is ingrained in your mind, you will never be able to network effectively. Stop blaming it on other people.  It’s all you. If you are serious about becoming an effective networker, be prepared to learn about the process and step out of your comfort zone. Start learning to hold yourself accountable and make the effort to get to genuinely know people.  Don’t assume because someone knows you that they owe you something.  They don’t. And finally don’t just reach out to people when you need something. Keep those lines of communication open during good and bad times. Make sure you are keeping in touch with people even when you’re not looking for anything to let them know what you’re up to.  But most importantly see what you can do for someone else.

So to all of you who claim networking doesn’t work for you, I challenge you to step back and look at yourself and resolve to find another way to make it work for you. If you don’t know how, make sure you buy my new book. 😉

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham

 

Book Excerpt- Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers

Hi all. I decided to share snippets from Chapter 5 of my book. It is not the entire chapter, only selected passages. Enjoy.

5/ A Closed Mouth Don’t Get Fed (Asking For What You Want)

…..I have blogged and written ad-nauseum about how women don’t ask for what they want. The fact is most of us don’t. In the very beginning, I had problems asking for what I wanted because I didn’t want to come off as bothersome or a pest. Remember a few chapters back when I told you what my Mom said about “bothering people”? Thank God I am that stubborn non-conforming child in the family! I had to learn that I had to speak up for what I wanted. That if I expected to be successful, that meant that I had to do a little asking at times.

As women, we are sometimes afraid of being assertive or standing out because we think we may be labeled as pushy or a bitch. Don’t let that fear stop you from speaking out or asserting yourself. Use that assertiveness to your advantage. As a Black and Latina woman, I use every advantage I have as leverage. Whatever it takes, I will make sure people get to know who I am. You’ve got to get people interested in you and give them reasons for wanting to see more of you. If I spent my days worrying about if people won’t accept me because I’m a woman, or Black or Latina, or a mom, or a small business owner, or whatever, I’d be pretty miserable……

Build a solid network and use it.

There are so many people who tell me “I can’t network. I don’t know what to say to people.” Well I usually tell them to get over it. You cannot succeed in the business world without interacting with people. You just can’t. You don’t necessarily have to become BFFs. But you must on a basic level have the ability to strike up conversations and the timing skills to know when to strike or move on an opportunity. As much as I hate to admit it, there is still an unspoken truth that it’s all in who you know, not what you know that determines the outcome of your success.

If you are not comfortable with speaking to “strangers”, start off small. Talk to colleagues. No, not the gossipy water cooler types. Nobody needs to talk to them. They aren’t looking to improve or move up the corporate ladder. Their main goal in life is to gossip about Laura’s ugly new shoes or Dave’s hair piece. Seek out forward moving success magnets. Those are the ones who dedicate themselves to getting the job done. They have that brass ring within their sight and only surround themselves with like minded people. They don’t let anything or anyone stand in their way of success. A word of warning though. Those overly aggressive ambitious types can be dangerous. You know who they are, the ones who would step on their own mother to succeed. They may be beneficial to your success if you understand the rules of engagement. Keep these people in your sight at all times to avoid that knife in your back.

Reach out to people within your own sphere. Relatives can be a good source. Ask who they know and what introductions they can make. This is not the time to be shy. I know that my family members and friends are amazed at the people I know and network with. But see, there is a caveat to asking for intros and referrals. You must be able to come to the table with something. If you are a customer service rep (for example) why do you need to be introduced to the COO of Nike who knows your cousin? See where I’m going with this? I always say the sky is the limit, but by the same token aim within reason. Anyone in your immediate network (friends, family, neighbors, etc) can be a source of leads.….

…..Do you know what your friends and family do? No really, besides being a Realtor or school teacher or IT consultant or business owner, what do they do? Do you know who they socialize and network with? What kind of professional activities do they do or events do they attend? What are their professional interests? Have you ever bothered to ask? If you want to tap into your “base network” you need to start having these conversations. Take a few of them out to lunch or coffee. Prepare a few questions for them ahead of time so you can have a meaningful conversation. Get to know how their sphere of influence works and figure out how you can tap into that. The more information you get from them, the better you can determine if they can help you….

…..Suppose you find out they like golf and they live near you. Suggest you meet for a round of golf and lunch. The golf course is a hot spot for networking. But you better brush up on your game before offering such a meeting. There are many pro shops that have lessons for low cost. You can go to any public course and practice putting and chipping balls. If you are serious about learning the game, I would suggest going to the pro shop and asking about lessons. Of course I would do this way before asking someone to a game of golf. You don’t want to embarrass yourself, do you?

Wait, you don’t have any golf clubs? No problem, most people don’t. My first set of golf clubs were purchased at a garage sale for $25 and I still have them. The bag has gotten damaged, but the clubs are perfect. As I started learning, I got my son and a few friends into it. I took them straight to the Goodwill and thrift shops. You’d be amazed at what you can find. Remember, affluent people often need to have write offs so they donate items. Golf clubs in great condition are donated all the time. I purchased my son’s set (I had to dig hard to mix and match to make a full set) plus bag for $12. And there were a ton of balls left in the pocket of the bag to boot! My point is, you don’t have to go Tiger Woods and buy the $500 set of clubs. Learn the game with used clubs and when you’re comfortable, treat yourself to new ones. But I promise you that you will be just fine with used ones. The bottom line is golf is the international game of networking. Learn it….

…..If activity is not in the cards for you, try a different approach. Why not host a breakfast, brunch or lunch? It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. You can get 5-6 people together for some food and conversation. If you make it a casual, relaxed environment, people are more willing to engage in conversation. Have an informal agenda and plan some communication activities for the event. For example, ask each guest to bring a mini bio of themselves and one or two of their urgent networking needs. This usually goes over well in my networking events. It gives everyone a chance to get to know each person and understand what they are looking for, as well as gives others a chance to possibly help them. It makes everyone feel like a participant and deflects from the fact that you are the person in need. In helping yourself, you are in turn helping others and that is what networking is all about. But if you don’t ask, you don’t get.….

…..Starbucks has become the unofficial hotspot for meeting people. The other day I decided to go to Starbucks to get out of the house and see if I could overcome my writer’s block. It was a beautiful day, and although I hate coffee, I love the energy of the people who go to Starbucks. This particular Tuesday morning, I decided to sit outside to work on my writing. I noticed three different clusters of men, each chatting and discussing business details in their respective groups. The group closest to me consisted of 3 men discussing what appeared to be a big real estate deal. They were deep in conversation and it fascinated me. They talked about their plans for their business venture and how each would fit into the project. Behind me were two gentlemen who apparently had just met, but were brought together by an acquaintance. They discussed possible synergies they had regarding some IT project they were interested in collaborating on. They shared their work styles and hopes for the project. The third group, well I couldn’t hear them too much because I guess whatever they were discussing was top secret. But they looked like they were deep in thought and intensely in conversation.

I share this because they took the stuffiness out of a traditional meeting and got down to business….at the local Starbucks. Not all meetings need to be in a conference room or an office. As I looked around both inside and outside of Starbucks, I didn’t notice any women meeting. It made me kind of sad. I would have loved to see some women power meeting and hammering out deals. While this is not the first time I’ve encountered this, I felt compelled to share because of the intense vibe I got from those men. On this particular day I chose not to approach any of them. But know and believe I have been known to introduce myself at a Starbucks. I have yet to get shut down. It’s all part of my charm I guess. Like my Daddy said, a closed mouth don’t get fed. And I don’t know about you, but I like to be fed…well. So I open my mouth when it is called for. You never know who you may meet at the local Starbucks, bookstore, etc.

For those shy gals in the audience, I understand that some of these practices may be beyond your comfort zone. In that case start off using the internet, but don’t let that be your end all be all. The internet has allowed us in the last 10-15 years to level almost every playing field. It has allowed us to connect in ways that we could not have imagined just five short years ago. There are search engines, portals, information sites, networking sites, community networking, message forums, real time communications, websites and more. You do yourself a grave disadvantage if you don’t learn to use it and tap into the power of it properly…..

…..The internet is a wonderful thing and I am grateful that I have it to make my job a little easier. But it can make you lazy. You must cultivate your business relationships that you form online and eventually bring them offline. Let’s say you meet someone on Linked In or Viadeo, or any other online professional networking tool, and it’s not someone you know or are relatively acquainted with. Immediately suggest a phone conversation. Take the time to introduce yourself and let the person know how you see them networking with you. And then continue the dialog. You don’t have to speak every week, or every month for that matter. But you do want them to keep you in the forefront of their minds. Don’t approach your relationships with a “set it and forget it” mentality or worse “what’s in it for me”. It takes real work and commitment. I usually work on a relationship on and off for the better part of a year. If the person does not show any interest in building some sort of basic relationship with me, I keep it moving. Why waste my time or theirs.

A year gives me plenty of time to decide if this person is valuable to me. It’s not like you can make that type of assessment in one or two meetings with someone. You must take the time to get to know and understand the person enough to determine if they are a valuable asset or an albatross. The sooner you make the realization the better for you. But you must put in the effort…..

Copyright ©2008 by Adrienne Graham. All Rights Reserved.
ISBN Number: 978-0-615-25666-5

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers will be available for purchase in the coming weeks. Please stay tuned to the blog for more details.

Til Next Time

Adrienne Graham

 

Book Released Soon!

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers- The Modern Girl’s Guide to Fearless Networking will be released very soon.  Please stay tuned for details.

 

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers Workshop- Atlanta, GA

Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers- The Modern Girl’s Guide to Fearless Networking

Let’s face it, this economy is on shaky ground.  As witnessed by the collapse of some of Wall Street’s powerhouse companies like Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns, we never know when our cushy job is in jeopardy.  If your company collapsed tomorrow, what would you do? Do you have a contingency plan like starting a business? Do you have a solid network of key decision makers who could help you in landing your next opportunity?  Chances are if you haven’t taken the time to build a strong network, you don’t have many allies who can help you in a pinch.

Go Ahead Talk, to Strangers, based on the book written by Adrienne Graham, gives you the foundations of becoming a fearless networker.  In this session, some of what you will learn includes:

• Branding yourself
• Build, communicate with and tap into your network
• Networking with top executives and key decision makers
• Making a memorable impression on the people you meet
• Positioning yourself as a subject matter expert and an asset
• Being a fearless networker
• Navigating and tapping into traditional and social networking
• Using networking to advance your career or build your business

Don’t miss this dynamic session that prepares you to become a powerful and empowered networker. Your real networking experience begins at this seminar. Adrienne Graham gives attendees a look into her own networking journey, shares her experiences and best advice on building your own network from a position of confidence and strength, and gets the audience involved in interactive networking exercises.

Date: November 15, 2008
Time: 11 AM- 2 PM
Location: TBA
Cost: $69
Register today: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=174975

Seating is limited and advanced registration is required.  Refreshments served. Drawings will be conducted for a $25 American Express Gift Check, a copy of the book Go Ahead, Talk to Strangers, and 1 free networking coaching session with Adrienne Graham.

 

The Best Offense is a Good Defense

Let’s face it, the market is tight and jobs are at a premium. While I do encourage you to use any and all resources available to find a job (job boards, associations, company websites, news ads, social networking sites, etc), I encourage you to be more self sufficient and proactive and tap into your network. One of the things I ask of the corporate folks in my networks is to let me know when they’re on the market or about to be. It helps me to better determine who I should put them in contact with. And sometimes, I might even be working on a position that I can recommend them for. This is why I tell people to get proactive and start the search before you get the axe.

I always recommend reaching out to your network when you are passively or quietly exploring opportunities before you actually need to look. I’m pretty sure the folks on Wall Street (the top folks who had ample warning that is) started reaching out to people they knew because they saw the writing on the wall. Starting before an impending threat of lay off or your resignation is the best time because you are not under as much pressure and you already have a job. It is easier to find a job when you already have one. Chalk that up to the law of attraction. When you’re passively looking, you are in a better position to see what’s out there and shop around without any pressure to make a quick decision. Start by targeting the companies and industries you want to explore. Then check within your network to see if there are any direct people you know who work at these companies that you can reach out to. In this instance, I would recommend picking up the phone and making a call to catch up with the person and suggest meeting. Whether you meet for coffee, breakfast or lunch it doesn’t matter. You want to get that face time. Ask for a time and location that is convenient to them. Remember, you don’t want to inconvenience them.

When you meet, keep the conversation light on business. It is an informational meeting not a job interview. Ask your contact about the state of the industry (which you should already know) and how it affects their company. Let them know that you may be considering a change and ask their opinion about what direction you should take. This leaves an opening for them to tell you about opportunities they know of in their company or with other companies where they know someone. And if there aren’t any opportunities now, at least you’ll be in the forefront of their minds when one does come up. Be sure to highlight a few of your best accomplishments and how you feel they translate into being qualified for other roles. Have a clear idea of what it is you want to do, otherwise you’re really just wasting your time and theirs. If you have a specific goal, then you can have a focused meeting.

Keeping up with what people are doing is in your best interest. Suppose you know a Recruiter who works for a Fortune 100 company you’d love to get into. And you know talking with her will at least get a foot in the door for you to meet the IT Director. But she has changed gears a couple of times since you spoke to her 3 years ago and is now the Director of Communications for the company. Technically she is still a ally, but she is no longer in the same capacity to get you any face time with the hiring manager. Sure there’s a small chance she may know this person and could help you somewhat. But you haven’t kept in touch with her so you don’t know what her relationships are within the company. By keeping up with people in your network, at least annually, you can better plan your approach when looking for leads.

Updating your resume at least annually is critical. Even if you’ve been with your company for 9 years, you never know what might happen. Ask the folks on Wall Street who lost jobs at their 100+ year old legacy companies. Nothing is guaranteed. Even if you don’t want to do a formal resume (which I think you should) keep a journal. Note any projects, accomplishments, promotions, increase (or decrease) in responsibilities, project outcomes, training, etc. Keep track of conferences, continuing education or workshops you were required to attend. All of this helps build the foundation of your resume. Also keep note of salary increases, bonuses and reviews. By keeping a journal it makes it easier to put together your resume the correct way. Remember, a resume is not a regurgitation of job descriptions. It is a tool to show your best professional self.

Finally keep your brand fresh. Continue aligning yourself with projects, volunteer work and events that are in sync with your authentic self. If you do not create or define your brand, someone else will. You always want to be in control of your brand and how people see you. Position yourself as a subject matter expert (SME) by using the appropriate forums and mediums to display your knowledge.

Career management is a long term thing. You can’t just focus on it when you feel you may lose your job or want to quit. The more time, effort and thought you put into it, the less time you will have to look for a job or be unemployed. Keep your network warm and it’ll be easier to pick up the phone when it’s time to look. If you only contact them when you need a job, don’t expect a warm reception. Build those relationships and make them work for you. I promise you will love the return on investment you’ll receive.

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham