5 Steps to True Empowerment

All of us have a similar common goal….to be empowered and have control over our professional destiny.  To have true empowerment, you must take responsibility for who you are, what you do, and what course you chart for yourself. It would be nice to have someone do it all for you.  I would have loved to have someone give me a road map to plotting my professional life.  But alas, it doesn’t work that way in the real world. At best, you can surround yourself with mentors and associates who will guide you along your journey. But in the end, it’s up to you to make the decisions and changes that need to be made to reach empowerment.

Here are a few steps you can take to True Empowerment:

1. Let go of past baggage. We have a tendency of holding on to what does us no good. Remembering a fight, worrying about bills, being upset about how someone else lives their life, holding a grudge because someone else took credit for a project we worked hard on. All of this is negative energy that takes up space in your world of positivity.  In order for positive blessings to come your way, you must get rid of the old negative feelings and thoughts.  Let go and let them fuel you to push even harder to achieve your goals. Come to new situations with a free and clear mind and heart.  Baggage keeps you from bringing your “A” game and from experiencing true success.

2. Get educated. Now I don’t just mean go to school. Education comes in many forms.  Yes, a college education is a good foundation, but continuing to learn well after you’ve earned your degree comes back to you ten-fold.  You can take continuing education courses.  Find topics that interest you and can help boost your career.  You’ll even get credit units for taking them.  Attend seminars, workshops and conferences.  Some organizations give you continuing education credits by simply attending.  Take advantage of events to leverage new relationships and show off what you know (and what you learn).  Read a book or three.  Trade journals, magazines, newspapers, online content and of course books help to continue the flow of knowledge.  Create a binder of important articles that are beneficial to your career or industry.  The internet is right at your fingertips.  Do your research and reading.

3. Find mentors. Notice I didn’t say find “A” mentor.  Mentors are all around you.  They don’t have to be a specific age, gender, position title or even in the same industry.  Study people whom you admire.  What makes them tick?  What paths have they blazed in their industries?  Reach out to them and ask if they would be open to being your mentor.  Don’t limit yourself to just one.  There’s a lot to be learned out there.  Don’t be afraid to reach out and connect with people.  More often than not, they are willing to share their knowledge.  But be careful not to monopolize their time, and definitely make it a value added relationship for both of you. I’m sure there is a way you can give back to your mentors.

4. Polish your image. You’ve got to look the part.  There was an article I read about dressing like a CEO.  I believe that no matter what level you are in your career, you absolutely must dress to impress.  Don’t go out to buy the Georgio Armani suit so quickly.  Buy classic tailored pieces that are timeless.  Have a couple of good staples in your wardrobe that you can mix and match with the Target wear.  Be sure to bring your own flair to your image.  But follow the tone set by those who are where you want to be.  Even law firms are slightly relaxing their corporate attire…but not too much.  Everything from your hairstyle to your accessories say something about you.  Are you portraying the appropriate image?  Invest in some classic shoes, handbags, jewelry and scarves.  Depending on what field you are in, a stunning briefcase can add value to your look.  And most importantly, buy a dress coat that is professional and classic. You must always be cognizant of your outward appearance. Confidence attracts confidence (and opportunity).

5. Build a solid network and use it. There are so many people who tell me “I can’t network. I don’t know what to say to people.” Well I usually tell them to get over it.  You cannot succeed in the business world without interacting with people.  You don’t necessarily have to become best friends forever. But you must have the ability to strike up conversations and the timing skills to know when to strike or move on.  As much as I hate to admit it, there is still an unspoken truth that it’s all in who you know, not what you know.  Learn how to network online, but don’t let that be your end all be all.  Use it as a starting point to building relationships.  The internet is a wonderful thing and I am grateful that I have it to make my job a little easier.  But it can make you lazy.  You must cultivate your business relationships that you form online.  Let’s say you meet someone on Linked In or Viadeo, or any other online professional networking tool.  Immediately suggest a phone conversation.  Take the time to introduce yourself and let the person know how you see them networking with you.  And then continue the dialog.  You don’t have to speak every week, or every month for that matter.  But you do want them to keep you in the forefront of their minds.  Don’t approach your relationships with a “set it and forget it” mentality.  It takes real work.

True empowerment is there within your reach.  Whether you are a college student, entrepreneur, or corporate riser, these principles will work for you.  Education + Action = TRUE EMPOWERMENT(tm).

Til next time.
Adrienne Graham

Social Networking- Who Are You & What Do You Want From Me?

Social Networking. That seems to be the term of the decade. Everywhere you go, it’s Web 2.0 this, social networking that, Linked In this, Facebook that. Who would have imagined back in the day that social forums would evolve into professional networking opportunities?

I teach a few webinars that focus on not only Linked In, but also social networking to its core. One of the features I read and take advantage of often is the Answers section of Linked In and Yahoo. By answering questions and giving my advice, I seem to draw a lot of people who ask to network with me.  An avid user an fan of Linked In, I am cautious about how and with whom I network and connect.  Daily, I get invitations to connect.  Despite the fact that I have clearly mentioned on many occasions that I prefer people send a note asking to connect and making it personal (ie: an introduction), and that I always take the time to send a personalized note letting a person know how I found them and my reason for asking to connect, this is what I still manage to get from people:

Adrienne,

I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

It drives me nuts!  It’s as if they haven’t even read my profile.  Recently I received the same generic note from a young man .  I politely responded back to him my preference for contacting and connecting with me and asked him to a least introduce himself.  He replied back that he was sorry I didn’t see anything in his PROFILE that would make me want to connect.  I was taken aback.  So not only did he not honor my request, he STILL didn’t even take the time to introduce himself and tell me how he’d like to network with me.  But he was upset.  It left me scratching my head.

I tell this story to illustrate a point.  When you are stepping into a social networking situation, it’s not like being on Myspace, Facebook, Blackplanet or any other social networking site for pleasure.  When you join a professional networking site, you must have a different approach and mindset than you would with the above mentioned networks.  You cannot assume that people will take the time to read your profile if you didn’t put any thought into introducing yourself properly or abide by their wishes.  The rules of engagement are simple.  Do your research.  Read a person’s profile and see if there are any specific request about how to contact them.  Make sure the person wants to be contacted, and what their preferences are (if you are a pet lover who wants to share an event for your pet, you wouldn’t contact someone who doesn’t own a pet).  Do NOT EVER send cookie cutter or standard template messages.  That will turn a person off immediately.  I know it turns me off.  Take the time to properly introduce yourself, indicate why you are contacting them, and offer to discuss any possible synergies.

Building networking relationships takes work.  Building networking relationships ONLINE takes not only work, but also the proper etiquette.  The people you reach out to cannot see you.  So you have to be extra diligent about presenting the proper first impression.

The next webinar will be held on Saturday, April 26th.  Please be sure to visit the website for more details.

Til next time,

Adrienne Graham

Happy Birthday/Anniversary?

Hi Ladies. I’m going to deviate for a moment to address the significance of today.

As we all know, today is the day that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis. The year was 1968. But what you don’t know is that I was born exactly a year later, in 1969. I have had the pleasure (or is that misfortune, I don’t know) of sharing a birthday with the anniversary of one our country’s most renowned orators, leaders, ministers we will probably ever know. When I was little, it didn’t affect me much. Children don’t think of such things in their small microcosm of the world view. But as I got older, I had mixed feelings about it. Yes, it was a sad and pivitol point in our history, but I started to think of it like this. For every life that is taken, another life is created. I am in no way comparing myself to Dr. King. But I could never help but think I have a huge responsibility to live up to.

I was listening to Warren Ballentine this morning on the radio and snippets of Dr. King’s speeches. They touched me deeply, as always. All that he hoped for and dreamed of, some might say we have achieved. We have and then again we haven’t (case in point the Jena 6). I couldn’t help but acknowledge that if it wasn’t for Dr. King, I would not have had the opportunity to grow up as I have. I would not have been able to be a successful business woman. I would not have been able to move where I want, pursue the education I want, raise my son as I want, or be able to set the wheels in motion for the phenomenon that is Empower Me. So, yes, in many respects, we have overcome. Barack Obama is living proof of that. Who would have thought a Black Man would be a serious contender in our lifetime? My son, my mother, my sisters, brother, nephew and nieces get to see this….in our lifetime. Unfortunately my Dad never did. He passed away 6 years ago this coming July. Dr. King certainly didn’t and neither did Mrs. King.

I still remember the stories my Daddy used to tell me about Dr. King and the “struggle”. Daddy was very animated when telling stories. He had a way of drawing you into the stories as he was telling them. I remembered being so afraid and fearing that “they” were going to get me. I was very small and had not grasped the fact that we were indeed free. My mother being a product of that time, was one who was always telling us keep your mouth shut and do what you need to do. Don’t make trouble. But daddy, man he would tell us we have the right to do and go and say what we want. Yes, even in the late 70’s early 80’s we encountered racism. Not at home though (New York). We would encounter it in the south. But daddy never let us just “take it”. He always had a lesson to teach us and always was able to somehow channel Dr. King. Very early on I could never understand some of the racism. But as we got older and daddy used to tell us these stories, it became clearer. Especially after watching Roots….can I get an AMEN!

It was in my early teens that I took Dr. King’s words and thoughts and hopes to heart. I became this outspoken grown child. I was never to let anything stand in my way of what I wanted. Naive? Perhaps. But I said to myself, dammit, we have these Dr. King celebrations every year to continue the fight. In NYC I did have a mix of friends. But when I went downtown to the Wall Street, Fifth Avenue, or any other areas deemed off limits to us, I felt a bit out of place. It wasn’t until my late teens early 20’s that I began to shake that off and own a sense of entitlement. It was my right as an American, as a New Yorker, as a BLACK WOMAN to be there making money like everyone else. And when those doors did not open, I made my own way. My first adult taste of overt in your face racism was back in 1988 or 1989. I went on my first trip to California without my parents. My friend Kim and I went. And of course, I was always miss fancy so I wanted to “do Beverly Hills”. Fresh off the plane with my daddy’s American Express (don’t laugh), I walked into Beverly Hills like I had lived there. I won’t mention store names, but the minimum wage earning sales clerks had their noses up in the air and nobody wanted to give me the time of day. A few people even asked if I was “lost”. Huh? Are you kidding me? I was dressed just as nice as any of their rich customers. One asked me, are you sure you want to buy this? It costs$….. Again, huh? Don’t you see this Amex card burning a hole in my pocket? My friend said let’s go. But the stubborn rebel in me didn’t want to give THEM the satisfaction. So I bought 3 bags. Of course my daddy freaked out and demanded I pay the bill myself. I was a project girl living a princess life. LOL Or what about in 1991 when I took my infant son, mom and sisters with me back to California. I was once again on Rodeo Drive looking around and my family headed on a walk through the residential area of Beverly Hills. Within minutes, the Beverly Hills Police were called. Someone hit the panic button when they saw these “strangers”, BLACK strangers (with a damn baby stroller mind you) roaming their neighborhood. Nothing jumped off, but my mom was pissed!

Why do I tell this story? Fast forward to February 2008. Just about 6 weeks ago. I flew to California for the Women of Power Summit. I drove over to L.A. to stay for the remainder of my trip. I had a ton of emotions going on. I was no longer this kid I was so long ago. I wondered and was a little nervous of the treatment I would receive upon my return to Beverly Hills. Well I was quite surprised. I strolled Rodeo, in and out of stores. And so much has changed. I was greeted and doted on by the sales clerks in nearly all of the stores I visited. I was taken aback. Really. I saw people of different ethnicities working in these stores and also shopping! Yeah, we black folks have money too. Some even chatted with me and asked where I was from. I was amazed. The men were holding doors open for me. The women were showing me things from the cases and the back. I didn’t buy anything. This time, I could afford it, but I ain’t crazy! LOL It made me feel good to see how things had come full circle. Could Dr. King’s dream have become a reality?

Every time I see a successful black man or women open a store, business, restaurant, etc, I fill with pride. Every time I see a black man or woman achieve top rank status in a company, I fill with pride. Every time I see a black man or woman earn their degrees, be it BS, BA, MBA,MA, PhD, I fill with pride. We HAVE overcome. To an extent. But we still have a way to go. I think if Dr. King were alive today, he would be in awe of what he and others set in motion. So I come to you and ask, what is your purpose? What dream do you have that needs to be fulfilled? What’s holding you back? I, a girl from the projects of the Bronx, sits here a CEO of 2 companies, a mom, a wife, a mentor, a homeowner, a teacher (not in the school sense), a diversity expert. A black woman living Dr. King’s dream. A black woman fighting to empower and educate my sisters, and inspire them to not quit and to achieve all their hearts desire.

I am hopeful for my son’s generation and my future grandchildren’s generation. If or should I say WHEN Barack Obama wins, that will break all kinds of barriers and set precedents that Dr. King was never able to see come to fruition. So am I sad to be born on the day of Dr. King’s assassination? Hell no. I consider it a privilege and an honor. Happy Birthday to Me. Thank you Dr. King. You have touched and molded me in a very profound way.

Till next time.

Adrienne Graham

Lunchtime Strategies Webinar- Linking In to Linked In

Ladies, online networking is a mandatory component of your overall networking strategy. If you aren’t on Linked In, or are on but don’t utilize it, you are letting tons of opportunities slip though your fingers. Recruiters have tapped into this tool and are using it to find star talent for their companies. Others simply want to get to know you to keep you “warm” for networking purposes. In either case, you are doing yourself a disservice for not tapping into the power of Linked In. Come join us for a 60 minute Webinar.

• March 20, 2008- Linking In to Linked In- $39-

The web offers tons of opportunities to establish yourself and make solid connections. Join us to discuss how to make Linked In an effective tool in your networking, finding business leads and job search. Learn how to get the most out of the free and paid subscriptions, incorporate Linked In in your job search, build your profile to attract recruiters and hiring managers, position yourself as an expert in your field, how to incorporate online networking with your traditional networking strategies, Linked In Etiquette and how to reach any contact whether you are connected or not.

To reserve your seat visit us online. Seating is limited to 100 attendees. Register today to guarantee your seat.

Know Your Worth

Many times, women will go into an interview process without properly knowing their worth. The common gut reaction is to find out what the salary is and make up your mind to accept whatever is offered just to get a foot in the door. We do ourselves a disservice when we don’t take the time to know the market, understand the norms and ask for what we are worth. We leave a lot of money, perks and benefits on the table when we don’t understand the process.

I will be hosting a webinar on Salary Negotiation called “Negotiating Savvy for the Empowered Black Woman”. It s a 90 minute webinar that will be held to open more women up to the power of negotiation. Everything is negotiable, when you do it at the right time. “Seating” is limited to 100 attendees and it is first come first serve. More details to follow about this webinar. In the meantime, figure out your appropriate salary by using this Salary Calculator.

PayScale Salary Calculator

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham
“The Empowered Black Woman” TM

The Power of an Empowered Black Woman

I, Adrienne Graham, am an Empowered Black Woman.

Last week I wrote about the Women of Power Summit and stated how proud I felt to be in the presence of so many wonderful and powerful Black Women. Since then, I’ve gotten many email from women all over asking about ways they can learn from what I shared and how they can also become empowered. I also have taken some time to reflect on Empower Me and come up with new ways to help empower even more women.

I am always proud to reach back and give back to my sisters. But the first thing I share is that it is not a cake walk by any means. I’m in a great place. I love my life and I try to spread my positivity and knowledge to all my sisters. But it has been a long and trying road. As I look back over my “career”, I have encountered such tremendous obstacles. I have had high moments and low moments. When I was experiencing the low moments, I felt like I was running up a down escalator. It’s very hard to tell someone “it’ll get better” when they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. Been there. But what separates the winners is the ability to K.I.M. (keep it moving) when times are at their bleakest. I’ll admit, there were so many times I wanted to quit. Just lay in my bed with the shades closed with my tv remote. And I confess, there were a few times I DID stay in my bed. But I made the conscious decision to shake it off and press on.

We are such powerful women even when we don’t see it ourselves. There is a line in my Founder’s Note on the Empower Me website that is along the lines of “we were working along side our men in the fields. We were working long before the women’s movement because we HAD to.” And it’s true. We are often called upon to hold together our families, hold down a job (or three), complete our education, and still be the strong fabulous women we are meant to be. I don’t believe in the word “can’t”. I believe we all have a purpose in this life and the means to achieve that purpose provided we never give up.

Education + Action = TRUE Empowerment….That is the power of an Empowered Black Woman. So for those of you who haven’t quite made it yet, keep it moving. Never give up. Dig down deep inside and find that strength your ancestors had. Tap into that and you can move mountains. For those of you who have made it, there is no shame in reaching back to help another sister. If you’re not empowered, GET EMPOWERED.

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham
Empower Me!
“The Empowered Black Woman”

My Challenge: Sisters- Pick A Sister to Mentor

As many know, I am a Recruiter by trade. I am bound ethically to keep it diverse and select the best talent possible for the positions I recruit for. But my first stop, being who I am, is to look for strong, Black, intelligent women to begin my search for the perfect candidate. Being the voice and face of Empower Me obligates me to look at us first.

I am not often surprised or shocked by anything when it comes to my sisters. I generally find those shining stars that are talented and can kick ass in an interview. But every now and then I run across some things that either hurt my heart or just pisses me off. Yesterday I had one of those “piss me off” moments.

I called a young lady to do a phone interview to gauge if she was appropriately qualified for a position I’m working on. Well, there were some phone issues (no sure if it was on her end or mines) but when I dialed, it didn’t ring. I tried twice to no avail. So I moved on and decided to call her home number. Well as I was about to dial, I received an incoming call from said woman asking “did you just call me and hang up on me twice?”. I was surprised by the call because 1) I don’t play phone games, and 2) the number was not a number I dialed. So I answered “well I don’t know, who is this?” She replied “YOU called ME. Look, don’t call my number again!” and she hung up just as I was trying to ask her what the number was so I can clarify if I did ot not.

I was pissed. I did not call her back to try and explain. It would have been pointless as she already had an attitude. So I gathered myself (the old me would have called and cussed her out) and said you know what, I’ll try her again tomorrow. Now ordinarily, I would keep it moving and let it be her loss that she would not be considered for a job SHE obviously applied for. But the humanitarian in me can’t. I can’t do that to another sister. However, I will bring to her attention that her actions almost cost her an opportunity.

We (Black Women) get such a bad rap for a lot of things. I for one, am trying to dispel many of those rumors. But some of you make it extremely hard for me! I am not saying change who you are. NEVER change who you are as that is your core. But there are ways to refine yourself. Attitude goes a long way in this world. Anyone who wants to get ahead in life and have a drama free existence should be aware of how they are portraying themselves to the outside world. I am a strong and confident Black Woman, but I don’t need to be loud or attitudish to get that point across. There is a time and place for everything. If some of us can reach back and mentor and give back from when these women are young, the world would be a lot better and the image of Black Women would be stronger.

I propose this: Each one teach one reach one. Each and everyone of us (myself included) needs to reach back to another sister and serve as a mentor. Why? Because you are not only helping, but you are also learning a lot about yourself in the process. Anyone who says they know all they need to know or who is unwilling to continue striving for more, is deluding themselves. So let this be your project of the month. Find a sister you feel could use some mentoring. Reach out to her. Give your time to help her out. Let me know how it goes.

Oh, as for my candidate, she was to be interviewed for a SERVICE position. Wow.

Til next time.

Adrienne Graham
Empower Me!
“The Empowered Black Woman”

Upcoming Empower Me! Events

February 21, 2008- Get Recruited!- $39-

Recruiters are getting more and more tech savvy and are turning to not
only traditional search, but also social media and the internet. Learn
how to position yourself to get recruited, instead of searching for a
job. What better way to learn than from a Recruiter herself! $39 for
non-network members, free for network members.

http://www.empowermeseminars.com/lunchtimestrategies.htm

Book Club

2/23/08- Book Club Meeting 12 noon (EST). Book of the month: Our
Separate Ways- Black & White Women & the Struggle for Professional
Identity by Ella J. Edmondson-Bell & Stella Nkomo

 

http://www.empowermeseminars.com/bookclub.htm

2/28/08- Project Me! 7PM - 9PM (EST)

Are you doing what you love? Are you doing
what you always dreamed you would? Take a moment and
honestly answer these questions. If you are content
with your current career and chosen path, then this
workshop isn’t for you. If you are happy existing in
a “job to pay the bills”, this isn’t for you
either.

Establishing yourself as an individual is
challenging enough, but taking the steps to do what truly
makes you happy can be extremely overwhelming. Taking
control of your professional life is a major shift in
your career direction that can create important gains
in your life. If forces you to step out of the norm and
examine who you are and what you truly desire. Transitioning,
as some call it, is not an easy thing to accept. Are you
tough enough? How badly do you want it? Take this workshop
and find out!

Topics covered:

* Understanding Who You Are
* Making Your Own Opportunities
* Embracing Change & Shifting
Perspective
* Branding & Positioning Yourself
for Success
* Developing The Self Business Plan
* Networking & Self Marketing
Strategies
* Building Your Career Portfolio
* Peer Reviews & Perceptions
* Learning to Get Out of Your Own
Way

Who Should Attend:

Women at professional crossroads; Women wanting
to take their career to higher levels; Women in
career transition; Women considering a career change;
Women looking to better position and market themselves
for success.

http://www.empowermeseminars.com/career.htm

The Empowered Black Woman’s Blog

Welcome to the Empower Me! Blog. This Blog will serve as an expressive medium for Professional Black Women who wish to chronicle their experiences in the Corporate World and Business World. We all have our ups and downs, our failures and triumphs. It’s all part of life. Over the next year several women will be chronicling their lives and sharing their experiences and tips with us all. I hope you all find this blog therapeutic and helpful.

Adrienne Graham